I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
