I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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