Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
