So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
