Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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