Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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