New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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