Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
