Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
only you would photoshop your dick
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
