P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
