Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need a beard to bite.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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