honey bunches of taint.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
