Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
