how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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