it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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