dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
