Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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