HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
