People in love make me want to vomit
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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