I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
