and you said cock pushups were impossible
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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