Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
