there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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