I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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