Just mADE A PArabola og urine
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
