I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
we made out on top of his cat.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
