k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my shit smells like andre
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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