There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
