if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
