i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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