I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
