when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
