Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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