Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
