This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
