I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
