Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
