If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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