i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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