Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
