is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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