Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
