Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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