omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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