Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize