She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
