i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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