the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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