On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
