I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
