no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
