Just cropdusted the office
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
