i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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