plz talk dirty to me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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