He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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