9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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