Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
