kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
