Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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