Texts From Last Night

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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.

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  (252): I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real. http://tfl.nu/u784
  Replies (20) Good night (690) Bad night (3147)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.

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  (307): Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR. http://tfl.nu/n9la
  Replies (25) Good night (4637) Bad night (916)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?

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  (443): Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here? http://tfl.nu/y0ko
  Replies (7) Good night (2992) Bad night (1024)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.

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  (972): 85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing. http://tfl.nu/910d
  Replies (13) Good night (863) Bad night (6317)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7273) Bad night (867)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.

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  (715): Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester. http://tfl.nu/dlm3
  Replies (19) Good night (1207) Bad night (4153)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels

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  (613): you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels http://tfl.nu/5vyu
  Replies (11) Good night (1345) Bad night (3847)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.

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  (908): At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well. http://tfl.nu/xx0y
  Replies (2) Good night (713) Bad night (1325)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.

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  (402): Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week. http://tfl.nu/y6xg
  Replies (16) Good night (3832) Bad night (1003)
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  (949): View more from California

  Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.

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  (949): Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless. http://tfl.nu/j4zx
  Replies (4) Good night (2173) Bad night (536)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1644) Bad night (1035)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?

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  (360): Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork? http://tfl.nu/kwvt
  Replies (3) Good night (1021) Bad night (537)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.

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  (989): I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story. http://tfl.nu/i8j1
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (427)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.

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  (218): There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon. http://tfl.nu/foxi
  Replies (5) Good night (1514) Bad night (355)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.

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  (936): It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman. http://tfl.nu/luwm
  Replies (8) Good night (786) Bad night (332)

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