Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen