it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.