I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.