Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.